behold my midlife crisis

I wasn't planning anything for 3weeks4dreamwidth, but then I realized today is my account creation anniversary! I've been on Dreamwidth for 17 years, since the second day of open beta.

Occasionally I am in the position of explaining to people what Dreamwidth is, and I usually say it's an indie social media site with no ads or algorithm. I feel like sometimes people don't know what I mean by that, or have a hard time wrapping their minds around how it can possibly exist. Like what do you mean, it doesn't exploit you for profit? It lets you look at things you have chosen to look at without cramming trending topics and promoted content down your throat?? You visit it every day because you enjoy it, not because it is designed to manipulate you into feeling addicted to it??? Increasingly over the past 17 years I have felt like a lot of people experience a very different internet than I do, and if I had to experience that internet I probably wouldn't go online much.

Thank you all for being here and creating a space where the internet is still thoughtful and human and fun.

I am back! I haven't really had a chance to catch up here yet, but here's my vacation read, for starters.

This stand-alone fantasy novel has a classic plot: A young soldier-prince hurries back from the front to inherit rulership from his dying father, only to find when he arrives at the capital that his uncle has usurped the throne. What makes the book stand out are the vivid characters and immersive worldbuilding—features that did not surprise me, having read and loved Leckie's science fiction for much the same reasons.

In the world of the book there are beings called gods, but their powers are subject to the laws of nature. They have to be careful what they try to will into existence, because if it requires too much energy or creates a paradox it can hurt or kill them, and if they don't understand the underlying principles of how something works they may not be able to do it at all. The gods have their own goals and internal politics, which humans often don't understand. I really liked how the consequences were worked out, with a mix of human beliefs about the gods—some accurate, some overcomplicated or oversimplified, and some fanciful wishful thinking. Even when it is actually possible to speak to the gods, some people will still only hear what they want to hear.

On the human side of the story, the themes struck me as thoroughly Shakespearean. The prince versus the conniving uncle, certainly, and more generally the impact of fatal character flaws and the focus on emotionally intimate relationships shaped by tricky power dynamics. The focal human character is not the prince Mawat, but his loyal retainer Eolo, a farmer's son turned soldier whose steadiness and observational skills are a balance to Mawat, who is smart but often lets his temper overrule his logic. When Mawat is being irrational, other characters beg Eolo to step in because Mawat will listen to him—except he doesn't always, and there is only so much Eolo can do within the bounds of hierarchy.

Eolo is also a trans man, which is a lens through which we learn a lot about how this world deals with people who fall outside social norms. I loved how this was handled. Different places have different attitudes toward queer people, and it's not a one-to-one mapping to real life views or a didactic take where the more queer-friendly folk are perfect "good guys". (None of the book's cultures are all good or all bad. They all have systemic problems and both admirable and ill-intentioned people in them.) Eolo's experiences and self-perceptions are grounded in the world he lives in. He's not an out-of-place transplant from our own world or an excuse to lecture to the reader. On the contrary, the book assumes the reader is savvy enough to pick up on nuanced points about gender and trans experiences without having them spelled out, and it's so refreshing.

The narrative is from the perspective of a god who uses second person to refer to Eolo as it observes his actions. This could be a barrier for some readers who are put off by long stretches of second person, but I found it very appropriate and not a distraction.

I would love it if Leckie wrote more novels in this world. I think she has some stories set in it, but I haven't gotten around to reading her short story collection yet.